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Subject: Creative Fodder Game – The Item listed above is a magical_______. rss

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Caroline Berg
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...124 to run fleeing from the mountain. ...125 to use a rope to climb the steep cliff. ...126 to quickly cast "summon stairs." ...127 to dodge under the falling rocks.
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The Missing Half

Once there was a pair of chopsticks that when together, could move the world. Nothing was too heavy to pluck, no gravity too challenging. They could lift Black Holes from space and string them into an anti-matter necklace as easily as they could lift grains of rice or pearls.

However, one was lost, and separated the set became increasingly unstable.

The one you have found is known as "the Missing Half" and believe me, you don't want to find the other.

This single chopstick causes bursts of unstable probabilities around it. These probabilities cause it to attract other missing items - but only if said items are part of a pair, and only if you do not have either. One day it might summon one sock, missing its pair. Or one glove. Sometimes it will pull half of another powerful set of artifacts, like the Shield of Orvus (but not the Sword). Or will teleport a twin to you. But, as long as you possess the Missing Half, you will never recover the other part of any of those pairs. However, it is incredibly difficult to lose the Missing Half, despite its name.

Next Item: A potted houseplant.
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Dr. UDO
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Light Blooming Tanglevine

Tanglevine has long been used as a decorative plant for castles, wizards towers and assorted ruins. The growth patterns and multiple varieties can be very pleasing to the eye. Light Blooming Tanglevine is a mutation that developed around the ruins of the tower of Oscar the dark wizard. When exposed to dark energies, the veins in the plant will start to glow. The more energy there is, the brighter the glow becomes. Since discovering this strain, wizards have started keeping cutting in their laboratories. If a summoning circle is badly drawn and starts to leak, the plant gives forewarning before the summoning goes beyond control.

Next Item: a button
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Jody
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sometimes i think people let me win just so they can hear my lengthy victory speeches
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Button of Punctuality

We all hate them. The people who show up an hour or four late.

You have your party all ready and dressed to the nines in magical armour and you are set to head into the dungeon to fight the ancient Lich Lord of Lala pa Lila, and your dwarven cleric party member is no where to be seen. Or your barbarian warrior tank is 'tanked'...and is still at the bar arm wrestling her 18th straight opponent.

You dare not risk going into the dungeon without the healing hands of your cleric or the barbarians muscle.

The Button of Punctuality can be given to each party member. Usually it is best to sew it onto the party member's attire without their knowledge. Otherwise, they'll probably 'accidentally' rip it off.

Anyone wearing a Button of Punctuality will have a geas of sorts on them to make a solid attempt to show up exactly at the time committed to. The barbarian warrior may say, 'no thankies bartender, 14 ales has been enough. long day tomorrow!' and head to bed earlier than normal. The dwarven cleric will maybe shorten the morning prayer to a tight 30 minutes.

Next Item: Shaving Cream
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Alain
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Cornick's Rabid Cream

You know those mornings?

Mornings when you are relaxing in Willy's Barber and Varnish Shop, enjoying a good clean shaving, when suddenly your quiet Old West town is suddenly swarmed by the Cody Gang, Rebel raiders, or dem accursed Indjuns. [insert dust, arrows and horses]

Mornings when you are cleaning up before continuing your trek to the Forbidden City, and it suddenly seems that every other cannibal tribe, gorilla herd, and forgotten tyrannosaurus (man are these jungles untidy!) wants to visit your encampment. [insert trees falling and T-rex charging]

Mornings when you are preparing for Court, and just then, your corrupt ex-colleagues burst through the door, together with their Russian Maffia friends, and shoot down your FBI bodyguards.[insert door bursting and guys dropping]

Man don't you HATE these mornings when you have to gun it out with shaving cream still dripping down your chin!

Fortunately, you bought CORNICK'S RABID CREAM [insert packaging photo]. Cornick's Rabid Cream efficiently enhances your awareness and sight, while making you feel perfectly refreshened [insert manly hands on chin]. As a result, fighting with a fresh helping of CRC on, grants you the ability to roll twice and keep the best fighting roll [insert manslaughter flashes].

Beware, fake CRC has been known to cause Amok! In order to avoid this, know that all officially licensed CRC resellers are duly registered transdimensional shopkeepers, you know, the ones that keep popping up in dark alleys and vanishing the day after.

If your seller's shop is not tiny, dark, loaded with strange tomes, and if your seller does not smile like he knows some obscure joke [insert pic of a licensed seller setting hsop in Sunnydale], this is probably fake CRC you are getting.

Cornick's Rabid Cream also comes as skin care (for the ladies and leves) and beard care (for dwarves).

Next Item: a paintball gun
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Joe S
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Life is too short to be angry all the time. Smile and enjoy the ride.
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The Holy Gun of Nazareth

While purchasing some gas station nachos and mountain dew, I overheard a ragged fellow mumbling under his breath. I said ‘excuse me,’ as I attempted to slip by him. The sour odor of vagrant living created an almost visible aura around the man. I freely admit that I covered my dripping nachos with my hand that held the drink, just in case this guy tried to touch me.

The man mis-interpreted my words as if I didn’t understand his muttering and, in a voice, ragged with discarded cigarettes and more than a few garbage-flavored sandwiches, he told me of Halitosis the Great Dragon. He spun a tale of a sleeping dragon on a mound of gold. A real dragon that once had princesses and cows offered to him as snacks, I’m not really sure why else the dragon would want them, he said. Eventually, the dragon got tired of raiding the nearby cities of their livestock and royalty. Halitosis retired to become “a thousand-year old dragon that has slept for hundreds of years”.

“No one tried to kill him?” I asked.

“Of course, they did. They still do,” he said, “But they don’t have the right weapon. Swords and spears won’t kill the Great Dragon, it takes a holy weapon. Otherwise, it’s better that folks just keep throwing gold in there to keep him sleeping”. A wave of milk-laced breath lingered in my face.

“What kind of holy weapon?” I asked, suddenly remembering a Monty Python movie.

The dirty hobo smiled with yellow-brown teeth. “I have one right here.” He turned then and dug around in his trash bag of miscellaneous trinkets. After a few seconds he pulled out an object. It was a gun, of sorts, with what seemed to be large squirt bottle attached where a bullet magazine should be. He explained the gun fired off paint balls. But not average paint balls. Paint balls blessed by a real priest in Nevada.

“The Holy Gun of Nazareth!” The hobo exclaimed. And that was enough for me.

Well, I figure I’m as smart as anyone, stop snickering you. Anyway, I wanted to see this dragon, maybe take a selfie or two and of course, grab some gold for my trouble. I wrote down the pungent man’s directions and trekked off into the woods.

After walking for hours in the woods, I’d finally found my prey: The Great Dragon Halitosis. He seemed harmless enough then, sleeping like some giant silver-coated kitten on his hoard of gold. You already know that part, judging by our surroundings, so I’ll keep this other part brief.

I got my selfies, then tip-toed around the mound. Just as I grab a shiny golden eagle coin, one of the great dragon’s large eyes opened. I admit, for a moment I froze, as if the big lizard wouldn’t see me if I was still as a statue. But he noticed me, for I was standing about an arms-length away from his nose.

He raised his huge, horny head, yawned, then looked down at me. Like a sixth sense kicking in, I felt aware of everything and time passed slow. The cave was quiet. The air now was thick with smell of giant lizard. My leg became warmed with my urine. I looked meekly up at Halitosis, then slowly pulled out the Holy Gun.

The great dragon made a sound that could only be a sigh. I swear his giant eyes looked disappointed.

Before I could fire the gun, Halitosis swallowed me whole. The gun’s still out there. Maybe someone will come along and give it a shot before we’re digested.

So how did you guys get here? Anyone have cell phone service?


next item: a doorknob
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Patrick Zoch
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No one jumped on this easy one?

Dwaeyzers Instant Portal

The origins of Dwaeyzers Instant Portal is unclear, but some legends say it was crafted for a dwarf who often found himself lost twisting passages of his mines, other legends it was an artifact of a master thief who used it to perpetrate grand heists, while other suggest it was the possession of a king who feared assassinations and used it to secure his escape.

Dwaeyzers Instant Portal is a ordinary looking bronze doorknob, that when affixed to a surface can create a doorway to the other side of the surface as long as the surface is no thicker than 5 feet. The doorknob does not work on solid objects, living creatures, or anything magically protected.

When activated, a matching doorknob appears on the opposite side of the door. When either doorknob is removed, the matching doorknob and doorway disappears. Dwaeyzers Instant Portal only functions once per day.

Next Item: A glass jar full of butterflies



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Paul Dale
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Betriz's Beautiful Butterfly Barrier

This glass jar is full of a myriad butterflies with just as many colours and marking variations. Once opened, the butterflies escape the jar and fly out and around until the passageway or room the jar was placed in is completely full. The butterfly swarm obscures vision through their volume and act as a distraction for all those within. The swarm lasts several minutes to an hour before dispersing.

Ninety percent of these jars contain harmless mundane butterflies. The remaining ten percent, however, contain blood and flesh eating varieties. If the opener is holding the jar, rather than placing it on the ground before opening & quickly retreating, they can expect to be bitten many times. Any creature that passes through such a swarm will also be attacked multiple times. Furthermore, fully five percent of the flesh eating variety also lay their eggs in their victims and the results are unpleasant.

These devices were invented by the slightly unstable druid Betriz several centuries ago. They were later corrupted by a cabal of necromancers looking to increase their stock of raw material more effectively.


Next Item: A canoe in a bottle.
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Mixu Lauronen
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The revolution lasted six minutes and covered one hundred and twelve meters.
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Frozzo's Predicting Canoe

This item is a canoe floating in the water in a bottle. When waterborne by any vessel, the canoe in the bottle shows the surface conditions 300 feet away on the current course.

You can see rocks, large waves and unseen currents in advance. Naturally, the canoe also predicts the weather 300 feet away.

Net item: A bouncing ball
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Paul Dale
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Otto

A small super bouncy rubber ball which when thrown, bounces endlessly around the room destroying everything in its path. Once bounced the ball is invulnerable and unstoppable. The only possibility of survival is to run away rapidly. Kill the humanoid.


Next item: An intricately carved ivory toothpick
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Caroline Berg
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...124 to run fleeing from the mountain. ...125 to use a rope to climb the steep cliff. ...126 to quickly cast "summon stairs." ...127 to dodge under the falling rocks.
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Tusk of Grobaush-Ursuk

This toothpick was created as a party favor by Grobaush-Ursuk, an ogre wizard sick of hearing people comment about her lovely tusks (which were carved with beautiful patterns and inlaid with silver).

When used, the toothpick is absorbed into the mouth of the user, and the user sprouts a lovely set of ogrish tusks complete with intricate clan carvings. The tusks stay until the user of the toothpick has learned to appreciate what it is like to have tusks, or until the user dies. At which point it reverts back into a lovely intricately carved ivory toothpick.

(Not going to delete this, since we posted at the same time but go with the previous item. I'm not crazy, right? There was another post there... it seems to be gone now...)

Next item: Glass ring.
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Dr. UDO
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Arb's Ring of Safe Passage

This seemingly innocuous ring is a mark of great importance. Created by the wizard Arb for his king, the ring is a symbol of royal favor and indicates that no one should hamper the wearers progress. These are worn only by those bearing messages or missions of the utmost secrecy.

When worn, the bearer is immune to all poisons and also mute. If the ring is damaged in any way, it instantly erupts in microscopic glass shards that will completely obliterate any objects within 20 ft. slicing them into tiny ribbons. This includes the bearer.

Those who sought to stop these messengers quickly learned to either stay away or shoot from afar.

Next item: a paper straw
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Joe S
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Life is too short to be angry all the time. Smile and enjoy the ride.
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McDonald's Straw of Tasty Goodness

McDonald's has joined the fight against plastic pollution by switching to paper straws at its restaurants in the United Kingdom and Ireland.
The change, which will begin to take effect in September, follows trials of paper straws at select locations. The US fast food chain said a majority of its customers supported the move away from plastic.

"Reflecting the broader public debate, our customers told us they wanted to see a move on straws but to do so without compromising their overall experience when visiting our restaurants," said Paul Pomroy, CEO of McDonald's UK and Ireland.

McDonald's (MCD) uses 1.8 million straws each day at its 1,361 restaurants in the United Kingdom and Ireland. The company said the changeover would be complete in 2019.

Plastic straws are the sixth most common type of litter globally, according to Litterati, an app that identifies and maps trash. Only 1% are recycled, largely because they are made of a mixture of polypropylene and polystyrene.

According to the UK government, 1 million birds and more than 100,000 sea mammals die every year from eating or getting tangled in plastic waste. And research shows there will be more plastic than fish by weight in the world's oceans by 2050.

UK Environment Secretary Michael Gove called on other companies to follow the example of McDonald's.

"McDonald's has made a significant investment in UK manufacturing to produce an alternative to plastic, showing British businesses are taking a global lead," he said in a statement.

Several large UK restaurant chains such as Pizza Express and Wagamama have already stopped using plastic straws.

Copyright CNN - today's news

*note: I've been wracking my brain for a good story involving a princess, a protective parent, and a challenge for potential suitors involving paper straws and viola! This arrives in the news.

*note 2: I didn't realize this counted so.... The next item is: a feather
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Caroline Berg
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...124 to run fleeing from the mountain. ...125 to use a rope to climb the steep cliff. ...126 to quickly cast "summon stairs." ...127 to dodge under the falling rocks.
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What is the next item?
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Patrick Zoch
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It took me two hours to grill a chicken the other day… And it still didn't tell my why it crossed the road…
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Feather of Negation

This large and colorful feather is rumored to have been plucked from a ROC, though skeptic disagree without offering an alternative source for the rare feather.

The bearer of this feather can carrying an additional 500 lbs without being encumbered and can lift an additional 1000 lbs beyond their normal lifting ability.

Be careful not to lose the feather while carrying the heavy weight or risk being crushed.

Next Item: A small leather bag full of gastroliths
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Patrick Zoch
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It took me two hours to grill a chicken the other day… And it still didn't tell my why it crossed the road…
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no takers?
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Jody
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sometimes i think people let me win just so they can hear my lengthy victory speeches
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The Stones of Some Scrumptious Suppers

These small stones of some scrumptious suppers instantly add a wonderful brothy flavour to your meal. Each one will be flavoured according to the bird that had used it to aid digestion. Usually they are unidentifiable without experimentation.

No matter how horrible the cook, just by adding one simple stone the added flavour will make the meal taste spot on. Each use will lessen the flavour impact.

It will not however repair an overcooked or an undercooked meal; it will simply flavour-fully mask it.

It is said that the first set was commissioned by an inept royal cook, who had inadvertently killed his liege making an undercooked turducken casserole (three stones no less!). The king did say that it was the most delicious meal he ever had prior to falling into a fever and dying a wretched death three days later.

Also, it is important to remove the stones prior to serving. The next in line of secession inadvertently swallowed a stone the royal cook left in a subsequent meal, and died nearly instantly.

The empire, which up to that point was considered to be one of the most enlightened prosperous realms, with no one left to rule, fell into anarchy and despair, and the fires still burn to this day.

It is best not to tell patrons what exactly the stone is or to even let them see it, as it is a bit disgusting isn't it?

Next Mundane Item: A banana peel



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Filbert's Frictionless Fun-peel

Have you ever watched cartoons and seen someone slip on a banana peel?

Of course you have!

Have you played a video game and seen how a banana peel can cause another car to skid out?

Of course you have!

Have you ever used a banana peel yourself to try and achieve similar results?

Of course you have!

Did it work?

Of course not. Despite the laws of cartoon physics, real banana peels are not that slick. This is where Filbert's Frictionless Fun-Peel can solve your problems!

Filbert's Frictionless Fun-Peel is a fun and friendly family product. It can be used to play hilarious jokes on friend and foe alike. Fun-Peels are frictionless on one side and will slide as far as real world physics will allow when a force is applied to them. In addition to playing practical jokes, Fun-peels can be used for a variety of purposes:
- Attach them to your sled for a winning run.
- Use to move heavy furniture.
- Non stick scabbards.
- and many more!

You can order your own Filbert's Frictionless Fun-Peel for only $19.95 for one or $69.95 for a box of six. You can also upgrade your FFF experience. For only $2 more, add a banana projectile to each peel, this allows you to squeeze the end and shoot the bananstraight out, just like in the cartoons. Projectiles are non-toxic, edible and banana scented.

Operators are standing by.

Next Item: 7 mismatched puzzle pieces.
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Paul Dale
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Okay not a new item but a suitable reference for the previous:



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Patrick Zoch
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It took me two hours to grill a chicken the other day… And it still didn't tell my why it crossed the road…
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Haverford’s VIP All Access Pass

The famous rogue, con man, and merchant, Thomas M. Haverford, magically creates token sets affectionally called the VIP All Access Pass. These tokens vary in design from creation to creation, ranging from bottle caps, playing cards, buttons, etc. Each VIP All Access Pass will magically turn into whatever item is necessary to grant passage through a portal guarded by a creature. The creature will perceive the token as a grant of authority to enter. However, it does not unlock doors, so if the passage is locked and the guard does not have the key, entry is still barred by mechanical or magical means.
This set of Haverford’s VIP All Access Pass is a collection of seven mismatched puzzle pieces, which makes one wonder how many puzzles Haverford used to make his last set of magical tokens.

Next Item: A tortoise shell
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Stebbin's Soup Tureen

Stebbin was a wizard of no small renown. His primary interest in life was not magic however, it was food. Magic was only a means to an end to satisfy his culinary desires. He thought nothing of slaying a dragon in order to gather it's eggs for a special recipe. The soup tureen dates to AG 253 when he stopped at an inn while questing for Unicorn Cutlets. He was offered a soup made of a local tortoise and absolutely adored it. He asked for the tortoise shell and enchanted it such that any liquid poured into the shell becomes the same tortoise soup. The artifact was lost after being dropped into the village well accidentally. Irate townsfolk were said to have hidden it away for everyone's good.

Next Item: a glass bird
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Jody
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sometimes i think people let me win just so they can hear my lengthy victory speeches
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Carrier Pigeon Glass Bird Set

The Carrier Pigeon Service is a First Glass Delivery Service invented by the renown archmage Jack Dosai.

Imagine a world that lacks phones, tvs, radios. A most wretched world to be sure. A world where most people are illiterate, and even the literate may only see a newspaper months after important events.

How in the world will you let both friends and random strangers know what you had for breakfast this morning? Or if your stupid little brother spilled mustard on your 3rd favourite top?

Dinger (Dosai's Instant Nowledge Getter Everywhere Relay)!

First, after unpackaging your bird, you must set your bird's identity, such as 'Set KnightsSuck_732'. You can change your identity at anytime in case you find tomorrow something else that may suck more.

You simply tell your glass bird something like 'i ate at Danny's and had the delicious waffles and accidentally ate part of my napkin laugh out loud' or 'i just looted my first dungeon now can't find where i parked my cart laugh out loud' or 'stupid barbarian drunk again i'm tired of this $@#&#@' and it will immediately fly off to all your 'followers' in number order in near light speed to share with everyone all your valuable information. Adding Laugh Out Loud helps your followers know that something is funny.

To follow someone, you simply say to your glass bird 'follow 18sineverything'


This sometimes may result in lengthy 'dinger wars' between individuals that echo to everyone around them :
rogue_315: 'stupid barbarian drunk again i'm tired of this $@#&#@'
barbarian_klorg: 'little rogue shetup or i use as toohpik'
rogue_315: 'learn to speak common you ignorant #@( ((#*(@ *!!*!'
barbarian_klorg: 'you mad, brogue?'
cleric @rogue_315 @barbarian_klorg: perhaps we can heal these wounds in private
dungeonfollower @rogue_315 'find a new barbarian this one sucks'
beholder_82: hello? like..i'll just wait here then? are we doing this or whut laugh out loud?


There are some rumours that this was actually intended to be used for useful purposes (ie, letting neighbouring kingdoms know of a unworldly demon attack or alien attack) but it just devolved rather quickly.

Next Mundane Object: Arm(s)Chair (i'm trying to be more culturally sensitive to the multi armed fantasy races )
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Nediarth the Grumpy's Arm Chair of Rest and Phlegmatism:

This oxblood-toned leather chair appears well-worn in that too-comfortable-to-throw-out-but-kind-of-ragged sort of way. It's not broken, but you wouldn't want to put it in your living room on looks alone.

It's former owner, Nediarth the Grumpy, was quite the unpleasant character. An artificer, tired of dealing with such a prickly chap, gave Nediarth this arm chair, secretly imbued with a restorative power that grants a long rest in the time a short rest might take. The side effect of such a power nap is that the person seated in the chair feels utterly emotionless, calm, and serene for a duration equivalent to the rest gained. This prevents things like RAGE or any effect that relies on emotion.

Users have been known to say things like "I'm cool as a cucumber" or "let's bro out and chill, my dudes."


-------------------------------------------------
Next item: A Handful of Pocket Lint
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Percy's Power Potential Powder

Have you ever wanted magical powers? Does your local wizard charge too much for a spell?

Percy's Power Potential Powder is a guaranteed* way to bring magic into your life! Created by the owner of Percival's Magical Laundromat, your Power Potential Powder is harvested from any and all magical garments that are cleaned. Every adventurer wants to look their best and no one knows how to clean a magical cloak like Percival. Fibers that have gathered in seams and pockets of the garment are removed and saved for transformation into Power Powder.

Simply mix a spoonful of PPPP into your morning gruel for a magical uplift to your day. The magical properties of the garments are transferred to you and it tastes great!

User N. Otreal had this to say about her use of PPPP: "PPPP has changed the way I live. Just by using PPPP every day in my food I've developed Telekinesis and the 'third-eye' I've always wanted.** Now I can clean the house, see the future and check on my kids without leaving my couch!"

You can get PPPP in Original Blend, Strawberry Enchantment or new Shadow Magic flavors. Try some today!

* Magical power is not guaranteed.

** Results not typical.

Side effects may include: dry hacking cough, dilated eyes, depression, excessive flatulence, spontaneous transformation, albinism, temporal dislocation, acid sweat, combusting eyebrows, Porcine Tusk Syndrome, double vision hallucinations and planters warts. Users also reported an excessive need to floss. Do not use PPPP if you are pregnant, breast-feeding, cursed, breathing or have a heart condition. Claims are not substantiated by the MFA (Magical Foodstuffs Administration).
PPPP may contain trace amounts of people and creatures slain by adventurers. Produced in a facility that uses toxic chemicals to clean clothes. For external use only, do not ingest. PPPP contains chemicals known by the state of California to cause cancer in rats.


Next Item: a bag of chocolates
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This bag of chocolates is a random assortment of magically imbued confections. You never quite know what you're gonna get...especially since you left the bag in the sun and they all melted together. Roll twice on the table below. Opposite effects don't directly cancel each other out. Duplicates add to one another.

Roll 1d8
1- mounds of manna: restore full health. If already full, add 1/4 rounded up
2- caramel of changeling: can shapeshift for 1d4 hours
3- dark chocolate of darkness: become possessed by a fiend for 1d20 hours
4- troublesome truffle: you cannot use magic for 1d4 hours
5- cooky coconut: roll 2 more dies
6- cordial of cordiality: advantage on charisma for 1d4 hours
7- nougat of knowledge: advantage on knowledge for 1d4 hours
8- brittle of brittleness: disadvantage on strength for 1d4 hours


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