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Subject: [IC] Have you practised your maniacal laughter lately? rss

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Matias Dahlbäck
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Professor Chromosome hums and hems and throws in the occasional mmm as he fills out a few more things on the Big Board. Something about Nemeses. That is probably important. He goes back to flipping through the binder.

"Right then. And now to our diabolical and ingenious plans! According to the Guidebook for Super Villainy each and every plan needs to have three distinct steps, or rather projects. So, huh, lets see, ah yes, now we're too write down the name of each project in our respective plans and then they go into the Great Tumbler! After which we all get to draw a project at... random. Now I must protest, this seems rather badly thought out. I can't believe..."

He is interrupted by the intercom coming to life. "Professor Chromosome. Would you like to request a meeting with HR?"

"Ok so anyway, everyone write down the three project and throw them into the tumbler now there're some good sports jolly good show and all that."

Three "projects", a word or a phrase, por favor.
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Matias Dahlbäck
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Time to explain the gameplay.

We take turns being the Villain. And every Villain has a Nemesis. We'll be going three laps around the table, and every time you're the Villain you'll have a different Nemesis. Everyone else, that is everyone not currently busy being a Villain or a Nemesis, plays their minion.

When it's your turn you take a project at random. Then you try and make sense of it. Then you explain to everyone, AND THE WORLD, how you're using one of your qualities to make this project come to fruition. Think big or go home.

Then your Nemesis for that turn explains how he's using one of his qualities to thwart said project. A pox on him!

Also, you both make sure to offer a new too belt item, because you want to enlist the minions around the table to aid you.

Once the sales pitches are done the minions write (using the spoiler tag) who they're helping, and what item in their tool belt they're using, and how they're helping.

Once the minions are done the Villain and Nemesis both roll 4dF (that's fudge dice), add the number of minions helping, and we have a winner.

I'm sure this all makes sense.

Points are calculated somehow too. There will be a winner.


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Al P
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Baron Pickle's entries

Spoiler (click to reveal)
A box of highly combustable kittens.

The disapproving stares and mutterings of 1950’s american housewifes.

Sentient children's party food
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John Morgan
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So just a random word or thing, yeah? Not an actual project per se?

Spoiler (click to reveal)

-The fossilised droppings of an extinct species of penguin
-An unmarked grave on the outskirts of Paris
-Moose
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Matias Dahlbäck
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I'll try to dig up a more coherent explanation about the project bit once I get home. But essentially... yes.
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Matias Dahlbäck
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Borrowing from neighboring thread: "They can be anything from the mundane to the insane but bear in mind that they will be part of a project a mastermind must complete."
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Spoiler (click to reveal)

- The REAL footage from the first moon landing
- Fort Knox
- one MILLION dollars
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Vladimir Lehotai
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-be the one and only cocaine distributor in Uzbekhistan
-organise and actually finish a worldwide performance tour of Terrance and Phillip
-befriend the former finance minister of Burma
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- Every copy of Queen's Greatest Hits in existence
- Three small dragons
- The secret truth behind the Bermuda Triangle
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"Good good good. You're very apt at following orders I see. That will come in handy once the new world order is in place. Excellent. Now, I suspect this is not the last time we'll all see each other so until then, may the best super villain win!"

Professor Chromosome tosses a capsule unto the floor that breaks with a disappointing fizzle, after which he stalks out, probably heading towards his own Secret Lair or wherever professors go. Does he have tenure? Difficult to say.
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Round 1 of 15:

Mastermind: Professor Chromosome
Nemesis: Baron Pickle

Minions: Spix, SECOND LIEUTENANT SHOPPINGCHANNEL, Malumu Zawiri
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In his secret lair (Second floor of the Science Building, west of the Quad, just past the janitor's office, you can't miss it) Professor Chromosome is mulling over the competition. The system of arranging this sort of contest to determine who deserves the title of super villain is absurd, but not as absurd as the usual kerfuffle within academia.

He logs on unto his computer and pulls up the Super Villainy Interface Network (SVIN). Lets see what wickedness lies ahead...

Spinning the bottle... 1d15 = (14) = 14

"Three small dragons, hmm? Now that's a challenge..."

I'll move the used up card to the bottom of the list each time, in case you're wondering how I ended up with dragons on a roll of 14 I'll come up with the professor's plan later... this requires some thinking
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  • 1d15 =
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  • Spinning the bottle...
  • Fri Aug 22, 2014 6:06 pm
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I don't have a fucking clue about what, how and why, but it seems like fun so far.
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Chromosome pulls out his blackboard-on-wheels and draws up some rough calculations. He ponders the numbers, his forehead frowned into some rather impressive crevasses. A distant squeak disturbs his thought and he looks around in irritation until he sees the rat he keeps as a pet, wandering free in his office. ”Of course, mother, you’re quite right.” he admits, beaming.

Once more in front of his computer he launches the videoconferencing software provided for the occasion, his smug face appearing on whatever screen or surface is suitable for the various parties. ”Attention minions! And you too ‘Baron’ Pickle. I am about to tame the three small dragons. Their might and power will be of an excellent addition to my already mighty forces. Soon the world will tremble before the mere mention of my name!

The three small dragons in question are held captive at a so called ‘con’, where youngsters of all ages play dress up and swoon before the appearances of various entertainers, actors and other rabble. I too will dress up as one of their fantasy figures to blend in, and while infiltrated I will near the dragons and unleash my pet rat in which I have transplanted the mind of my beloved deceased mother!

Her superior maternal prowess will lure these dragons into my fold. Her empathy, her loving care, her most infinite levels of caregiving, will bind the dragons to her. She will become… the mother of dragons!

Now the reckless ‘Baron’ Cucumber will try and thwart my most glorious and benevolent plant, so I will need your help, minions. And I know, I know, noone works for free these days. So in exchange for your help I will provide you each with a laminated library card. It’s impossible to put a price on knowledge, after all.

Your move, ‘Baron’ Tomato.

Chromosome out.”
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"Dear minions

I Baron Pickle request your attendance at Proffessor Chromosome's defeat. I shall of course gain easy access to the event once they realise I am the world most famous vinegar connoisseur. I shall then lead the disgusting rabble like the piped piper of old, like the stampeding horde of animals they are, right over those overblown salamanders. Thus breaking them like cornflakes under a bowling ball!

Of course I don't won't to touch any of the filthy peasants so some assistants would be rewarded with er something or other...

Gregor, bring me that thing I gave you for 20 years solid service! Yes yes, the one with the personal engraving.

Ah here we go, for your assistance you will get a pair of motorised tunnelling boots!"
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Now, minions, using the spoiler tags, describe how you help either Chromosome or Pickle, using one (at this point, the only) item in your tool belt.
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Vladimir Lehotai
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Spoiler (click to reveal)
Malumu Zawiri uses his PDA full of useless trivia to impress the con attendees with his broad knowledge (or what passes for it) of random crap to distract them from preventing of foiling the plans of the magnificent Baron Pickle, thus helping him to achieve his goal..


Is it enough, or shall I be more talkative about the minion's help and its effect?
Also, I had about 6 beers, so feel free to call me out on my poor grammar as always.
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Matias Dahlbäck
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It is good and I'm too sleep deprived to try and play grammar police
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Spoiler (click to reveal)
Stix doesn't like the idea of the three small dragons being held captive, unable to spread their wings and fly free in the sky. He offers his help to Professor C.

Donning his most realistic cardboard dragon mask (the one he picked up when he attended an 'adults get in free with one child' session of "How to Train Your Dragon 2" that he attended with his loving dad/half-brother/sort-of -clone-like-relation, Doctor Cockatoo), Stix will easily sneak in to the dragon enclosure after passing as one of the dragons himself.

Once in he will use his Paraphrasing Paralysis ray on the nearby attendants who'll get stuck in an endless of loop of saying "Winter is Coming" in similar but not exactly identical ways until they simply freeze up themselves. "Cold is Nigh! The season after autumn is on its way! The Time of Snow is Approaching! Season 8 of 'Game of Thrones' will be here in about three or four years and by then the White Walkers might finally show up! Hey, is it getting cold in here or is just me?" It will go on and on...and meanwhile Stix will lead the three dragons out to join Mrs. C and to freedom!
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"And what say you, SECOND LIEUTENANT SHOPPINGCHANNEL?"
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Spoiler (click to reveal)
"Thanks Professor. Welcome back. We're down to our last few more-than-slightly-radioactive faux-diamond rings, so this really is your last chance to get one. They're perfect for luring three small dragons who want shiny things for their horde but are too young to realise that the difference between these really remarkably convincing gems and the real thing."
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Nemesis roll 4df+1 -> ( +1 -1 +0 -1) + 1 -> + 0
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  • 4df+1 =
  • ( +1 -1 +0 -1) + 1 =
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  • Nemesis roll
  • Sun Aug 24, 2014 2:48 pm
Matias Dahlbäck
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Mastermind roll: 4dF+2 -> ( +1 -1 -1 +0) + 2 -> + 1

Yay me. I'll write something up in a bit.


Professor Chromosome easily slips into the con. What's another weirdo in this pantheon of freaks? The Professor is rather proud of his costume, although few are able to spot him as Professor Moriarty, as portrayed by George Zucco in the 1939 adaptation The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes. Spotting the enclosure with the dragons he slips forward, and with a nod towards those minions wise enough to be loyal to him, the plan goes into motion.

He lets slip out his mom-rat which easily penetrates the dragon den and uses her maternal charms and instincts to put the young dragons under her spell. As the con attendees are put under Stix' spell the rat begins to lure the dragons towards the exit. As they doubt, being after all well-trained dragons, the final pull is given by an almost certainly not authentic diamond. Perhaps the radiation it gives off looks pretty in the visual spectra of a dragon?

"Yes. Yes. One. Two. Three! Three dragons! Fools, all of you, fools!" cackles Chromosome as he makes his dramatic exit, but not before having distributed the laminated library cards to his trusted sidekicks.
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  • 4dF+2 =
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  • Mastermind roll:
  • Sun Aug 24, 2014 3:04 pm
Matias Dahlbäck
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Round 2 of 15:

Mastermind: Baron Pickle
Nemesis: Doc Cockatoo

Minions: SECOND LIEUTENANT SHOPPINGCHANNEL, Malumu Zawiri, Niles
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And the winning plan is... 1d14 = (2) = 2

2. The disapproving stares and mutterings of 1950’s american housewives.

Hmmm this is going to take some though!
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  • 1d14 =
  • (2) =
  • 2
  • And the winning plan is...
  • Sun Aug 24, 2014 4:14 pm
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