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RPG» Forums » Community » Creative Fodder

Subject: Tales from the Virtual Crypt rss

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Dave Bernazzani
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The Silver Unicorn is alive tonight with tales of adventure and daring-do! William the Poet sits on a raised dais and sings softly to nobody in particular.

It's a pretty good crowd for a Satyr-day
And the barkeep gives me a smile
Cause he knows that it's me
They've been coming to see
To forget about undead for a while


All around there are people telling their stories. Most of it probably complete Owlbear Dung, but at least it's entertaining. And hey, there isn't much else to do around this part of the Realms anyway. In the far corner of the tavern sits Borin Buckethissel, halfling and rogue-in-training. He is spinning a tale while the regulars egg him on.

Ah, come now, Bucket, tell us about the time you bested that Giant! says one rather drunk patron.
No, no! I'd rather hear about the one-eyed pheasant of Aringtok! jokes another.

But Borin Buckethissel will have none of that. He's here to tell a tale of The Crypt.

I shall not repeat my stories, though I know you think they are untrue.
I have spent much time in the darkness... and was likely to be eaten by a Grue.
I shall tell you a tale of my bravery. In places where dwellers await.
I shall tell you how I escaped Orc slavery. And how I escaped down the slippery grate.
I shall not leave out any detail. Lest you think I'm a fraud and a fool.
I shall tell you even of my heroics, nimbly jumping that acidy pool.



Borin Buckethissel by Lizard of Odd (Deviantart) used with Permission
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Dave Bernazzani
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Welcome to the Tales from the Virtual Crypt contest. Below you may make one post. In that post, you will give an account of Borin Buckethissel that fateful night in the crypt.

Here are the rules. Failure to follow the rules will disqualify you.

1 Do not edit or delete your post once it is submitted. You get one shot at this.

2 Your account of Borin must be no more than 100 words. Yes, that's purposely short.

3 At the end of your post, you make a single d100 roll using the Geek Randomizer (when you make your reply, you will see a grey "Roll" button and you click that and enter 1d100 into the roll field and anything you want in the comment field)



When you save your post, the roll will be committed (and logged in the master die roll log - so don't delete your post to try and roll better... cheaters will be dealt with swiftly!)

wavemotion previously rolled 1d100 = (69) = 69 (Treasure Found)

And then a contest moderator will compare your single roll with this table:



To see if you've won a prize. Of note is the Virtuacon Champions microbadge mb which automatically enters you into the prize pool. In addition, the contest entry post with the most thumbs will also be eligible for our prize pool and the coveted badge.
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Old & Chaotic Evil Bob
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*** warning ***

Cheaters, we hope there are none


will meet the Blade of The Contest Moderator


EDIT:

so far I have given out one Ring (6:30 am Saturday, my time)
so every adventurer knows I have seen their posts
I will tip their post/tale 0.01 (this will be in addition to any treasure that was found)


check the caption I added to the Borin Buckethissel image
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George Buss
United States
Muncie
Indiana
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“Here is my secret. It's quite simple: One sees clearly only with the heart. Anything essential is invisible to the eyes.” ― Antoine de Saint-Exupéry, Petit Prince
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While above was a blustery, Ah was below, under the earth, in the dankness. Ah had been seekin' shelter from the Storm, and instead, found a door. Doors lead to adventures, ya know! So through I went, and found myself in the midst of an orc commune. They was discussin’ health care for orcs, pushing sick ones into an acid pool. “Another for the Pool!”, a large hairy one cried when he saw me. I ran, leapt right over the acid, and landed on a sewer grate, that gave way, and dropped me right out the side of the mountain.

"Eh?" 1d100 = (95) = 95
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  • 449380. ThatFedoraGuy
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  • "Eh?"
  • Fri Oct 18, 2013 10:21 pm
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Th’story begins as all stories do,
When first I had spotted that damsel I knew
That she would be mine, and I would be hers,
And so it did happen that there came robbers,
That did do her harm, and so I assisted,
And at her behest, I myelf enslisted,
To face this great evil, and win her graces,
And pursued to the crypt, where I bloodied band’t faces,
But when I returned, I discovered she’d left,
Gone off with another, and left me bereft,
Of any affection, and so over time, did I morph,
Eventually turning into a dwarf

100 words exactly.

1d100 = (19) = 19
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  • 449392. Dutys_Fist
  • 1d100 =
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  • 19
  • Fri Oct 18, 2013 10:35 pm
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Ashfield
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I am the wasp / that burrows in! I am the shriek / of twilight din!
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So there I was, pressganged inta makin' fancy chandeliers for th' Overlord's citadel. We'd work th' uncut diamonds, then dunk 'em inta acid fer etchin'. Now, I kept a weather eye on th' orcish slavedrivers. After a batch were done, they'd uncover a glass grate and dump the diamonds on there fer rinsin'. Acid woulda melted right through an iron grate, see? Well, I bided me time, and when next a batch were ready, I vaulted right over th' acid bath and smashed through th' grate. Th' haughty sewer-maidens wanted nuthin' to do with me... 'til they saw th' diamonds!

Treasure found... 1d100 = (37) = 37
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  • 449484. sbszine
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  • Treasure found...
  • Sat Oct 19, 2013 3:13 am
Iffix Y Santaph
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Passing through, I prayed for help.
I stepped in the acid, couldn't hold back the yelp.
I begged and pleaded for my life;
I heard the Orc sharpening his knife.
And heard the footsteps of the grue.
And I knew the foul beast heard me too.
And as they charged me in the dark
I caught myself a clever spark.
And so I danced, betwixt these two,
As ever nearer they both drew.
Then tripped the orc and the grue,
Into the pool of acid stew.
1d100 = (16) = 16
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  • 449515. XendoBreckett
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  • Sat Oct 19, 2013 5:05 am
Peter
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Carol Stream
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Borin was a slave of Orcs. He was kept in a dark mine toiling day to day for mere scraps of food. One day he saw the guards weren’t looking and jumped through the grate over the greasy midden. At the end of the shoot he almost fell into the waste dissolving pool of acid, but was instead was able to swing to a far ledge. Borin then braved dark and wild tunnels a many, avoiding all the dwellers that lurked there. Eventually, he followed the light to an old crypt with the doors broken open and to freedom.

Truth be told. 1d100 = (25) = 25
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  • 449517. Astinex
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  • Sat Oct 19, 2013 5:51 am
Al P
Norway
Orkanger
Sør Trondelag
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I was returning, from one of my many and varied adventures, along the mountain path. And as I clambered down the wet mossy steps I blinked in astonishment. Barely 5 hands off from the path lay a old wooden sign. Upon it read 'Go's Way, Our GOld. We's be FiNDing firSt!' in crude red scrawl. Now I'm never one to be scared of simple Orcs, as a learned halfling like myself could see had obviously written the warning, So I traced the almost invisible path, with my formidable tracking skills, and found a old collapsed well that opened into a wide gloomy cavern.

3 hours later, and I'm not to proud to admit, I was lost. With out even a glimmer of sunlight I felt my way further into the labyrinth of tunnels. Now, as clever fellows like yourselves know, Orcs have amazing night vision and I could hear them closing in. It was then that I came up with the brilliant idea to let them capture me. Obviously a dozen orcs are nothing to my fighting skills but I knew they would lead me to their horde of gold. After a possibly a hours march through the pitch black caves I was rudely dumped on my rump.

My keen sense of smell could tell we were somehow beneath the city, I couldn't believe we'd traveled so far but the smell of horse dung was unmistakable.

Speaking of mistakes they dumped me in their makeshift vault for safe keeping along with the gold! The fools, didn't they know the name 'Borin'. A few chains and a locked door wouldn't hold me any longer than a hippogriffs fart. Sliding out the constrains I scooped up all the gold into my travelling bag and sneaked into the corridor. Ahead I could see a green glow of some kind of bubbling stew.

Laughing wildly I leaped through there room, over their pot full of the bones of adventures not as capable as your Borin. The Orc gave chase not realising that I had spared them earlier. And again just as they were about to corner me and force my hand I again chose the higher path and spared them yet again. I can't help myself, when one is as gifted as I, its just cruel to pick on those weaker than myself. I flashed them a smile and nimbly threw myself into a sewer crate and shot out into the river a mile further along and swam to shore.

Feeling I was being greedy I gave the gold away to the first beggar I met, after having a bath of course.

And that's why I'm a little light today, but I'm sure I can pay my tab tomorrow...

treasure 1d100 = (82) = 82
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  • 449545. znirp81
  • 1d100 =
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  • treasure
  • Sat Oct 19, 2013 10:01 am
Dave Bernazzani
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XendoBreckett wrote:
Trust me, there really is something there, honest. whistle (Stinkin' Geekroller!)

I fixed your post - and bypassed the 'no edit rule'. No worries

The Lesson: Don't try to put text between the [geekroll...] tags.
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Brian Cox
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Sugar Land
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Is the gentleman with the BroStache invited to this party?
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I once traveled with a party, of souls as brave as yourselves.
A Fighter, a Cleric, a Wizard, a Human, a Dwarf, and an Elf.
Deep into a cave we went, stories of treasure in our heads.
When Orcs attacked room number three, my companions left me for dead.
But Halflings are smarter than Orcs, I tell you it’s true, you will see.
And I turned the Orcs on each other, then I turned the Orcs on the three.

(Treasure stolen by Borin in the Tavern that night) 1d100 = (32) = 32
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  • 449693. fuzzydice82
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  • (Treasure stolen by Borin in the Tavern that night)
  • Sat Oct 19, 2013 6:45 pm
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Jumping with great haste,
down the Crypt I go;
landing on top of waste,
that's the only way to land that I know.
Below my foot there was a key,
I took a closer look;
while doing it I hurt my knee,
I stumbled upon a book.
It had a keyhole that looked ominous,
the key went in with perfect ease,
from within came a demon called Dominous,
his drool looked like grease.
He told me to say a single thing,
before I suffered his wrath,
his attack would surely sting,
this I said with little math:

Not in the family jewels!! 1d100 = (51) = 51

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  • 449735. Stone Dwarf
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  • Not in the family jewels!!
  • Sat Oct 19, 2013 10:42 pm
The Minister of Sinister
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Pennsylvania
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Just happy to be here.
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Was a chill Autumn eve
when I met my gal Nell
for a moonlit walk
to the old Farmer's Well

Twas there I had planned
to make her my own
with a shiny gold band
holding a shinier stone

I pulled out the ring
and then made my offer
but the ring was too big
and it slipped right off her

Into the well
with a plink, a plunk
the ring did go
to the bottom it sunk

Down I did go
to fetch back her prize
but at the bottom I met
an Orc with green glowing eyes!

99 words 1d100 = (47) = 47
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  • 449753. Mulligans
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  • Sat Oct 19, 2013 11:59 pm
Nicola Gambetti
Italy
Bolzano
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«I didn’t even know his hame was Borin Buckethissel: when I saw him for the first time, he was running out of that dreadful crypt at the same time as I was entering it. He didn’t looked like he even noticed me: his behaviour was so laughable that I couldn’t help laughing at his ludicrous behaviour. When, a few hours later, I was doing the same though I didn’t feel that contemptuous anymore: I had experienced the horrors that lie within. I met Borin at the taven: we shared our experience therein and since then we’ve become inseparable adventuring companions».
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  • 449774. Bombadillo
  • 1d100 =
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  • 63
  • Sun Oct 20, 2013 12:38 am
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  • 449775. Bombadillo
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  • Sun Oct 20, 2013 12:38 am
Nicola Gambetti
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Bolzano
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And plastic for the Plastic Throne!
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Sorry for the double roll in the previous post, I didn't know how to make it work.
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Old & Chaotic Evil Bob
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Bombadillo wrote:
«I didn’t even know his hame was Borin Buckethissel: when I saw him for the first time, he was running out of that dreadful crypt at the same time as I was entering it. He didn’t looked like he even noticed me: his behaviour was so laughable that I couldn’t help laughing at his ludicrous behaviour. When, a few hours later, I was doing the same though I didn’t feel that contemptuous anymore: I had experienced the horrors that lie within. I met Borin at the taven: we shared our experience therein and since then we’ve become inseparable adventuring companions».


Evil Rob Rolls 1d100 = (43) = 43
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  • 449930. stargate
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  • Sun Oct 20, 2013 12:51 pm
Guest Starring...
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There once was a halfling named Borin
Who was captured by orcs while explorin'.
He soon joined the slaves
In the orcs' dark caves.
But wait - was that a grate in the floorin'?

That halfling whose name was Buckethissel
Gasped and gave a low whistle.
The slippery grate
Soon helped him vacate
And he fled as fast as a missile.

His journey back home was not nice,
But all good things come with a price.
An acid-filled pool
Concealed a great jewel.
What he found? Well, let's roll the dice:

Treasure found: 1d100 = (15) = 15
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  • 450120. E Decker
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  • Treasure found:
  • Sun Oct 20, 2013 10:56 pm
Jeff G
United States
Santa Rosa
California
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Borin clears his throat. I want to try a haiku for my next tale.

I went for treasure
I found a large red dragon
Escaped with singed hairs

1d100 = (92) = 92
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  • 450121. bulldog93
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  • Sun Oct 20, 2013 11:14 pm
Just another Steve
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Allen Park
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Long legs for springing
Straight hair and pointy ears
you sure Borin's a halfling?


The roll 1d100 = (74) = 74
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  • 450137. sdonohue
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  • Mon Oct 21, 2013 12:06 am
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  • 450138. sdonohue
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  • Mon Oct 21, 2013 12:07 am
Serious? Lee
United States
Coppell
Texas
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‘Twas dark and dank and of course it stank.
By torchlight did I make my way down.
When I heard the sound of creatures all around,
I began to wonder why I’d ever left town.

I turned to run for this was no fun.
My life was in peril; this adventure I’d pass.
I made my retreat and took my seat
At the tavern where I now sit on my…

*fingers crossed for a good roll* 1d100 = (99) = 99
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  • Mon Oct 21, 2013 5:13 am
Jonas (he/him)
Germany
Bovenden
Niedersachsen
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Completely lost in the trap-infested tunnels, I had just stopped for some rest when the band of orcs sprang out of a dark side passage. I jumped fifteen feet, so frightened was I. Lucky me - only then did I notice the acid pool that I would have walked into had it not been for the orc fright. By sheer luck I had jumped across it. So I pushed my luck further, closed my eyes and danced on, whistling. I only opened my eyes when I slid down a slimy grate and crashed into a grave in the cathedral's crypt.

The priests were excited (or upset?) when they found me and my loot: 1d100 = (93) = 93
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  • 450219. jasri
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  • The priests were excited (or upset?) when they found me and my loot:
  • Mon Oct 21, 2013 8:33 am
Tyler Martin
United Kingdom
London
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Mwa ha ha ha ha
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The Crypt was dank and mouldy green, full of things that should never be seen
But in I went and out I came, with every last evil having been tamed
Mazes, dungeons and devious traps , with cunning and logic all done in a snap
Ghouls and ghasts and firey efrits but with bravery and wisdom they were all beat
Owlbears, turtle men and weregiraffes, with skill and ease in their faces I laughed
All manner of sights that would make most men pale but here I sit. Now pass me my ale.

The appreciative/unimpressed crowd showered/dribbled him a tip 1d100 = (37) = 37
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  • 450233. TMVM
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  • Mon Oct 21, 2013 9:59 am
Thomas Schwarz
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Frankfurt
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Our party was a group of three,
the first a barbarian tall as a tree.
The second was smaller somehow
but nevertheless good with the bow
and the last one, well that has to be me.

The bowman was killed by a trap
he explored the crypt while I took a nap.
The barb was even dumber
tried to pull free an amber
and was buried under some crap.

I went on and finally found the treasure,
were dreaming of all the pleasure
I could now buy
but then came that guy
he was a horror you can't even measure!

1d100 = (66) = 66
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  • 450338. KillerPower
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  • Mon Oct 21, 2013 2:38 pm
David McCartney
United States
Delaware
Ohio
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Unlike you, my tavern critics
The orcs heard my tales and were stunned
As they sipped many ales, I spoke never ceasing
Took 3 days 'til their minds were numbed

Down the gate I escaped with a golden hen
Plucked from a drowsy guard's grasp
The slide slid seven ways, the chicken guiding my ways
For six of the tunnels ended with treacherous asps

Once bottom we reached, my feathered friend free
For he has saved my own legs and thighs
I then followed it out 'til I heard quite a shout
As it sank in a green pool, super-sized
It was all true I tell you! 1d100 = (8) = 8
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  • 450513. tribalsoul
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  • It was all true I tell you!
  • Mon Oct 21, 2013 7:37 pm
Dave Bernazzani
United States
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Contest will run another day - but I'm going to award the most thumbs to Dutys_Fist so he can get something from the prize pool!
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