The Revenge of Dokter Ekwilibreum's Maze of Deth -Open for Fun, Closed for Prizes!!!
- Dokter Ekwilibreum(dumwytgi)United States
Maryland [MD]Welcome to my Maze of Deth!!!
Hear ye, hear ye!
Step right up, step right up! Gather round, gather round! Before you stands the greatest achievement the diabolical sciences have to offer. That's right, ladies and gentlemen, I, Dokter Ekwillibreum, present to you for your enjoyment, the one, the only...
THE MAZE OF DETH!!!
A man in coveralls takes a paint brush and adds a tally mark to the scoreboard overlooking the field:
Total Challenge Chambers: 29
Unique Builders: 8
Individual Contestants: 43
Unique Users Sending Contestants: 16
Participants Lost to Each Room:
(Rooms are listed by Geeklist Item Number)
Room 2: 2
Room 3: 2
Room 4: 1
Room 5: 5
Room 6: 6
Room 7: 8
Room 8: 2
Room 9: 1
Room 10: 5
Room 11: 5
Room 13: 1
Room 14: 1
Room 16: 3
He then packs up his things and climbs down.
Dokter Ekwilibreum climbs onto a platform and walks to his podium, pounds his cane hard twice against the wooden planks and speaks loudly.
"Ladies and Gentlemen, another fine year here at the Maze of Deth, another year undefeated, though we did have several individuals make a fine effort. A shame so many of you thought to prepare your bodies, but none of you thought to work on your conversational skills.
But you did not come here for my babbling. You came here for blood and prizes. The blood has stopped flowing, for now, so let us dispense prizes, shall we?
The award for Deadliest Challenge goes to paulidale for the long fall (Room 7), correctly guessing that when the bottom drops out, most would know be able to roll with it when they hit rock bottom. With eight of the Maze’s forty-three participants dying in his room, he is responsible for nearly one fifth of all fatalities in the Maze this year. He shall receive a sum of 10 for his contribution.
The prize for Audience Favorite Challenge as determined by audience thumbs of approval is a three way tie! With nine thumbs each, the award goes to Red Wine Pie for deciding many small traps are more fun than one big one, TMVM for his smashing cart, and Munkwunk for unleashing a swarm of bugs and other creeping crawly things! Rather than split the prize, we will give the full award to each! Red Wine Pie, TMVM, and Munkwunk, here is 10 for each of you!
The award for Most Daring Escape is given to those whose successes we cannot help but stand and cheer for, again as indicated by audience thumbs of approval. In this case, we have another tie, but with himself. Midichlorian the Min Maxer received the most thumbs for survival three rooms running (rooms 3-5) for lawyering his way out of being polite, for making his way easily to the bottom of a watery grave and finding the luck to float back to the top, and for doing what we all wanted to do to him by launching himself out a cannon. dragontrainer, as Midi’s Next of Kin, could you kindly come collect the 10 prize?
Of course, this mighty fine shindig is not called the Maze of Success or the Maze of Triumph. No, we're here for blood and the maze gave us that aplenty this year. The award for Best Death goes to... the lucky capybara, who nibbled the wrong trousers and ended up getting nibbled on himself! I declare a prize of 10 goes to the owner of that poor, lucky capybera. Jowolf, collect your prize!
Of course, sometimes we love a contestant through no fault of their own. Perhaps it’s because they keep going when reason would make them turn around. Perhaps it’s the style with which to compete. Perhaps they just have a face you can’t help but root for. These people possess a certain ineffable something. Our award for Audience Favorite Participant goes to Lucky the capybera with a grand eight thumb introduction! As Lucky was not quite as lucky as he wished, could Jowolf kindly come to collect his 10 award for him?
This year, we have a number of additional prizes to awarded on top of the usual awards for lethality and panache. We will now distribute those awards now.
For the Better Skilled than Lucky Award, awarded for making the longest run using no luck at all, I present this 10 award to Monster Mike, the surviving kin of Gary, from Rat Queens, who managed to make it to the eleventh room on skill alone. Impressive, Gary. Really. From what I know of your work with the Rat Queens, I would never have guessed you had it in you.
On the other end of the spectrum, I present the Worst Lucky Charm Award to the participant with nothing going for them but a whole lot of luck, which ran out all too fast. This award is a tie between the Man with the Cheat Code and Eugene the Lucky, whose luck expired in Room 6. It seems a little luck will get you through a trap, but not even a lot of luck will get you through a room with a hundred. Could their next of kin and/or owners TomTi89 and ctimmins kindly come and collect your 10 awards?
For the Cruelest Master Award, which is granted to the person who sent the most people to their death in the Maze, we have a three way tie, with Dragontrainer, TomTi89, and TMVM, who each sent eight poor souls in for our own twisted delight. You are clearly individuals after my own lack of a heart. Come forward, you three, and collect your 10 prizes and my respect.
Of course, I am not wholly without heart, and as such, we have the Best Eulogy Award for the most touching memorial to our brave, fallen participants as determined by thumbs. Of the twenty-four eulogies delivered in the Eulogy Thread, the favored was the one given to Lucky the capybara by Jowolf. Come forward and collect your 10 for your touching words.
Finally, the grand prize for Longest Run (though not so long as our champion from the last maze) goes to three brave advanturers! The maze stands once more undefeated, so we shall declare our victor from those who made it the farthest. Our “winners” are the lucky capybera, Lucky Nelly, and Matrix, who encountered sixteen rooms and overcame fifteen. I don’t blame the capybara for not being able to hold his own in an intellectual conversation, but as for Lucky Nelly and Matrix, I can only shake my head at the state of kids today. All the knowledge in the world at their fingertips, but don’t know how to think. I call forth their next of kin, Jowolf, paulidale, and Dragontrainer, come and collect your 50 bounty, plus an additional 40 in tips from the audience! You make us proud!"
Dokter Ekwilibreum climbs down from the pulpit, enters his carriage and begins to drive off, calling out from the window as he leaves the blood-stained field, "Until next time friends, always remember! Be cunning, be ruthless, be devious and dastardly, and when you can get away with it, cheat!"
Though prizes shall no longer be rewarded, brave souls may still attempt to defeat my diabolical labyrinth by following these posted rules:
How to Play:
1) Entering the Maze
- Introduce yourself at the gate so that we may memorialize you when you die. Your introduction should include your name and a bit about you, including your patented "Dokter Ekwilibreum DethTraps, LLC Six Trait Metric" scores, which will be twelve points divided among your Six Traits+1 (Might, Coordination, Fortitude, Knowledge, Cunning, Presence, and Luck).
- A single user may only send one
poorbrave soul through the maze per day. Or, to be more precise, you may not send another through on the same day your previous champion is killed.
- To make it easier for people to follow your progress, you may wish to make all of your posts a specific color or font style, so it is easily identified as the next room on your adventure to those following along.
- The contest ends on Sunday the
25th of October1st of November when I wake up (roughly 7:00 am GMT-5).
2) Resolving Challenges:
- Because the geek randomizer won't let you roll more than twice on an item you did not create (and luck may require you to reroll several times), go to the Maze of Deth Roll Thread and create a comment for your character. This will allow you to place all of your rolls on a single post for easy reference later. If the roll is not made on your single character post in the comment thread, the roll does not count. A single thread reply can hold large sums of rolls, unlike a geeklist item which only allows a couple.
- For each challenge item, click "Add a roll" on the roll thread comment, inputting a roll of “3d6+X” (where X equals the rating of the appropriate trait. Under comments copy and paste the roll type (“Knowledge – Easy (1)” for instance). Some challenges allow for a choice of attributes. You must specify in the comments which attribute you will attempt to use when you make the roll. Be sure to include the trait bonus when you roll, as nothing is allowed to be added after you have rolled without Luck.
- Once you have your geekroll, copy that certified geekroll and paste it into your geeklist item comment describing your challenge attempt.
- If your geekroll plus your attribute score are lower than the challenge rating, you die. Describe your gruesome failure and put the word Dead in bold at the end of the geeklist comment.
- If your geekroll plus your attribute score equals or exceeds the challenge rating, you overcome the challenge. Describe how you overcame the death trap before you. Then repeat these steps over again at the next challenge.
- You may spend a permanent point of Luck to reroll (made as usual, except add "Luck" to the description) OR to add +2 spent to the roll you already made. You may uses Luck multiple times on the same challenge. Be sure to include in your description how your Luck saved you, and not skill.
- From time to time, if you are lucky and you make it far enough, you may grow a level in experience. After you have completed that Challenge Chamber, you may add two points to a single trait or one point to two separate traits. You may add points to Luck on a level up if you so choose. This is a permanent stat increase (except for Luck, which will gradually waste away).
- Any time your Traits change, either through a level up or using your luck, or some other reason, be sure to post your new traits at the end of the challenge that changed them.
3) The Audience
- Keep all discussion and audience chatter in the Geeklist Comments section at the bottom, not Item comments of each challenge. Do not post anything to a specific item unless it is your attempt at a challenge. Your only input on a geeklist item, if you are not taking on that challenge, is thumbing and tipping enjoyable victories and defeats.
- Don't forget to thumb and tip your favorite traps and attempts.
- Subscribe to see every attempt, every stellar victory and bloody defeat!
- And when your hero dies, be sure to head on over to the tavern and raise a glass to your fallen friend!
And now for a demonstration, I shall send in a volunteer... the first to attempt the maze.