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Miryam also wants to know about what the tatoo has to do with anything unless that would become obvious.
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Joe Kundlak
Slovakia
Bratislava
-
Ok, let me rephrase the conflict (and I will resolve it then):
If Miryam succeeds, Dasai spills out details on her grandpa and the alleviated conspiracy around him.
If Miryam fails, Dasai only says small things about him knowing her grandpa, but does not say anything about the mysteries (in fact, denies them).
If Carson succeeds, he learns about Miryam's grandfather issues.
If Carson fails, Miryam learns about whe whole tatoo thing (and the Corporation involvement).
1. Anyone wants to give a Fan Mail to anyone for something they liked in this scene from them?
2. Vadia and Vaklam, which traits do you use?
(I presume Carson can't use any and Miryam will use "underestimated").
3. Anyone wants to use Fan Mail for either side? So far only FlyingArrow has one, but if under point 1. someone gives Fan Mail yet, more could be spent...
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Joe Kundlak
Slovakia
Bratislava
-
I will set and resolve the conflict in a few hours, if no one chimes in inbetween with alterations...
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Brian Cooksey
United States
Nashville
Tennessee
-
Joeyeti wrote: I will set and resolve the conflict in a few hours, if no one chimes in inbetween with alterations...
I've got no alterations but I would like to give Miryam some fan mail for that last scene.
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Joe Kundlak
Slovakia
Bratislava
-
Conflict resolved and narration given (as I got the right to narrate).
Scene requests, ladies and gentlemen?
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James Fung
United States
Berkeley
California
-
How about let questions brought up by the last scene stew a bit and go back to Trox and/or Trent? Either touching upon their personal issue or drawing them deeper into the suicide/murder?
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Joe Kundlak
Slovakia
Bratislava
-
A Trox scene dealing with his unknown origins could be good, to introduce his own issue (which was so far only hinted at slightly)...
We left him in scene 2 in the diner (after Trent left there), but I presume he got back to his room to have a bit of sleep yet... What could be his next course of action?
Returning to Kamaria to realize what has happened inbetween?
Or roam around the Docks/City to get his issue "going" in a potential conflict?
I could very well envision his scene not having anything to do with the story so far, but instead developing his character more... ...if you know what I mean.
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Joe Kundlak
Slovakia
Bratislava
-
Guys, without an input it's a solo game!
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Flying Arrow
United States
Pennsylvania
-
Either idea for Trox is fine.
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Joe Kundlak
Slovakia
Bratislava
-
Thx FA.
I do wonder, are we all still invested in the game?
If Real Life (TM) intervenes with one's play, who am I to judge him.
But otherwise, if interest in the game has vaned, I need to know 
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Brian Cooksey
United States
Nashville
Tennessee
-
I'm still quite interested. I really want to see where this goes.
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James Fung
United States
Berkeley
California
-
If we're going a scene with Trox next, let's start throwing out ideas. Maybe it's later in the day and Trox is returning to the ship after getting some sleep. How does he get wrapped up in the investigation? Does he have anything to do with the Corporation or Miryam's grandfather?
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Joe Kundlak
Slovakia
Bratislava
-
I will give you my idea from today afternoon...
I had initially a largely independent scene in mind. So far we dealt with the death near Kamaria and its investigation, so instead of Trox returning to the ship we could change the pacing a bit, stretch his time and have Trox wander off into the city by himself first (after the rest of the not-so-very-good-sleep) to let the steam off a bit before resuming another duty.
And there he could find a "friend" from school, which he however does not recognize. And this friend (who might have not even attended the same classes as Trox), would be able to give him some clues to his past (his origins and identity)...
This would of course be a character scene for him, with a potential conflict in it.
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Flying Arrow
United States
Pennsylvania
-
I think I'd rather establish the mystery before introducing any clues at all. I think we could even go the whole pilot without revealing any clues... just revealing the mystery should be enough. At this point, the audience doesn't even know about his money.
He could just do rounds checking on his money and run into a friend. An awkward moment hiding things. A phone call with Uncle Hector revealing some of his history.
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Joe Kundlak
Slovakia
Bratislava
-
How about:
A phone call with uncle Hector, where they talk about a distant past with his father and Hector doing some business together?
Then he goes on for a regular withdrawal from his account one of his caches to deposit on Kamaria (or in his apartment).
And around THERE he runs into his old friend, which creates an awkward situation, for all his friends took him for a low-class citizen back then?
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Flying Arrow
United States
Pennsylvania
-
I don't think I follow all of that. Trox doesn't have large accounts. He has the money hidden in cash in various places. Storage lockers, etc.
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Joe Kundlak
Slovakia
Bratislava
-
Amended my previous post... better?
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Flying Arrow
United States
Pennsylvania
-
Sounds good.
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Joe Kundlak
Slovakia
Bratislava
-
Scene for Trox is up, sorry for the slight delay - during the weekend it is always harder to steal some internet time...
FlyingArrow, you can continue and make the call with uncle Hector as short or as long as you wish (if you want to give me some screen time for Hector as myself, fine, but if not, fine as well). And then the scene can move to the second part.
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Joe Kundlak
Slovakia
Bratislava
-
Does anyone see a potential for a conflict here, or we move further to the next scene?
That said, scene request please!
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Flying Arrow
United States
Pennsylvania
-
I'd like another Trox scene this episode to finish establishing his back-story. Later on, though. For now, how about the next morning at the docks. Trox talking with people just off the boat about the previous day's events. Trent can stop by and join the conversation.
Before that, a quick cut scene showing Trox having a 'night off' alone after picking up his cash. Just a movie, dinner, back to sleep at the apartment.
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Joe Kundlak
Slovakia
Bratislava
-
I would like to see the other characters involved
Not just as "stopping in", but their scenes happening...
Anyone else having an idea for a scene perhaps?
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Flying Arrow
United States
Pennsylvania
-
Or Trox gets to work early the next morning. Passes by Trent's office on the way in. They discuss the previous day.
What is we're going for in the pilot? I see it as mainly introducing the characters' back stories and solving the murder. Yes?
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James Fung
United States
Berkeley
California
-
Stuff Trent wants to do:
- Using police contacts to distance Trox from the murder. Trick is not being suspicious. I mean, if you call the police to make sure your friend isn't involved in a murder and they weren't interested in him before, they might be interested in him now.
- Following up on the tip Trox gave him about Katyusha. Probably start by checking the inventory logs (though who would be stupid enough to log stuff they're smuggling) and security files. Most likely it got offloaded on Endit, so figure out what could fit in a briefcase that people would want to smuggle into Endit. Or who is the intended recipient. Make use of Trent's underground connection.
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Brian Cooksey
United States
Nashville
Tennessee
-
fusag wrote: Using police contacts to distance Trox from the murder. Trick is not being suspicious. I mean, if you call the police to make sure your friend isn't involved in a murder and they weren't interested in him before, they might be interested in him now.
"Uh, huh. Thank you, sir. Could you spell that last name again?"
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